Living and working in Japan is not easy. While the quality of living is incredibly high, there are some social concepts that can make it really challenging for those not born and raised in Japan to understand what is going on. Let me share with you three concepts in Japan that you should be aware of to make the most out of your experience here. Let's look at them one by one.
Uchi vs. Soto | 内外
Uchi and soto refer to "inside" and "outside". It is often used to distinguish between groups which in a collectivistic society like Japan is absolute key. It dictates everything from how to speak to the other person, to who sits where in a meeting, even who gets on the escalator or elevator first.
People usually belong to different groups at the same time, such as their families, their companies, their departments, their genders etc. Depending on the context, the inside/outside dynamics change. You sometimes hear people referring to their company or even their family as uchi when making a clear distinction between them and us.
One key point is that the out-group always needs to be honored while the in-group is humbled. That explains the high level of customer service as the uchi/soto dichotomy basically dictates the sales rep for example to treat the customer exceptionally well.
That is also why you notice that tourists go back to their home country and speak highly of Japan while people who live and work in Japan often get frustrated after about six months or so. That is when their honeymoon phase ends and they start to experience culture shock. Part of that is realizing that all the politeness is very superficial and it can be difficult to get through to people.
Lastly, the strong group orientation expressed via uchi and soto can also be in a negative way which is why some people find the word gaijin offensive. It is the abbreviated form of gaikokujin (外国人) which means foreigner but if you remove the koku (or country), it s often used in a negative way to distinguish between Japanese and the outsiders. It indicates that they do not belong and are not part of the group.
Honne vs. Tatemae | 本音 建前
Honne - or "true feelings" - designates true intentions and desires which cannot be openly expressed when being contrary to what is socially accepted. In many cases, people keep their honne to themselves while only sharing it with their closest friends.
Tatemae literally means "facade" and refers to a formally established principle which is not necessarily accepted or practiced by the parties involved. Tatemae in a sense is similar to political correctness while honne is the real, hidden but authentic sentiment.
It is what you show in public especially as part of your specific role in society or position within the organization. In those functions you are expected to behave a certain way regardless of personal preference or opinion. The focus here is about avoiding confrontation and saving face. Honne on the other hand is the “real intention” or “genuine truth”. It is what a person really thinks or feels regardless of their social standing or the people around them.
This concept does not only apply to individuals and their social interactions but can even be part of factual discussions including the news. It allows people to discuss politics and economy or other sensitive topics without being too explicit and negatively impacting the harmony of the group.
Honne and tatemae in Japan originate in the strong desire for harmony and conflict avoidance. In addition, people are trying to save face and not to cause others to lose face.
Depending on your relationship with the person in front of you, it is very likely that you will only ever see their tatemae. Honne is reserved for close friends and direct family where people can actually open up.
That can make it really difficult to have an open and honest discussion at work by European and North American standards. You invite people in for discussion and everyone seems to agree to your discussion. Don't let that fool you. That does not mean that they really agree. That might just be tatemae!
Omote vs. Ura | 表裏
Omote refers to the "face" while ura is the "back". Similar to tatemae, omote is what is correct, open in public. It is the "image" someone has or wants to project. Ura on the other hand is the dark and concealed side which can be unacceptable by the public or even illegal.
It doesn't even have to go that far. Imagine you are invited to your friend's place for dinner and right before you leave the house to get there, you have a huge fight with your partner. That fight might not be solved by the time you get to your friend's place but unless you enjoy a drama in front of your friend, you most likely pretend everything is ok. That is omote.
Another example: think of someone like Ellen or Harvey Weinstein who were both well respected and had a good image in the public eye. Once it came out what was happening behind the scenes - ura - their public image took a massive hit and they lost face (and often much more).
Ura is usually associated with something negative and bad. It could be uragane which is a bribe or other dealings which happen behind closed doors.
However, that does not necessarily mean that everything ura is bad. Ura banashi - "inside scoop" - is often more insightful than the superficial omote explanation that has been provided to you.
In order to get access to ura banashi, you need to make sure you are part of the right in-group (uchi) and you have someone who can actually tell you without tatemae what's going on.
Omote and tatemae are also the reason why going out for drinks with coworkers is such a key part of people's work life in Japan. After a few drinks people are a lot more inclined to share their honne and let them in on some ura banashi.
Conclusion
Understanding these three dichotomies will equip you to make better sense of your environment. It is also very beneficial in a business setting when trying to understand what the person or group's real intentions are.
In what situation did you encounter tatemae, honne or omote? Were you shocked when you learned about someone's ura?
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